Risky Brizness/Transcript
opens with an extreme close up of Oz looking through a loupe. He is clearing the dust off a comic book Oz: Seriously...aaaaaand pew! The last speck of dust has been eradicated. That oughta keep you nice and fresh until next year's cleaning. a glass dome over the comic and swoons, then skips away Do-do-do-do.. Fanboy and Chum Chum: offscreen Hey, Oz! Oz: Hm? back to the comic to see F&C under the dome Fanboy: Wanna hang out? Oz: AAAAAHHHHHH!! them out of the dome and tosses them away You guys! Seriously! Get away! dome and sighs press their faces against the dome Fanboy What'cha got there? Oz: F&C away from the dome and puts them on the floor You've heard of the famous first issue Man-Arctica comic: Man-Arctica issue one? Fanboy and Chum Chum: Uh-huh? Uh-huh? Oz: Well, this one's even earlier. Gentlemen, feast your eyes on... the dome off the comic Man-Arctica issue Absolute ZERO! Fanboy and Chum Chum: Wow. Chum Chum: How come we haven't seen it before? Oz: Because I keep it in a secure virtually impregnable vault. This jumbo box of Granny Bran cereal. Fanboy and Chum Chum: AHH! FIBER! Oz: That's my granny! door opens Brizwald: Hello, Ozwald. turns toward the door to see a figure with glowing yellow eyes. The figure steps in to reveal himself. This is Brizwald, Oz's evil cousin Oz: CODE RED! WE'VE BEEN PREACHED! STOP THE EVIL INTRUDER! jump all over the place and reach Brizwald Fanboy: Uh...is this the evil intruder? Oz: Duh! You can't see how seriously evil he looks! Chum Chum: at Brizwald, then at Oz Um, he looks just like you, Oz. Brizwald: That is because I'm Ozwald's cousin, Brizwald. Fanboy: Really? Brizwald: Sincerely. Fanboy: at Oz Hm? at Brizwald Hmm. at Oz Hm? at Brizwald Hm. at Oz Oh, now I see it, yep. Brizwald: Oz here is just upset because I've made a sincerely successful living selling comics. Oz: Pfft. Selling comics, anyone can do that. Fanboy: You can't. Oz: Stay on topic! We were discussing how the only thing Brizwald's good at selling at is out! Or, is there some other reason you'd just happen to show up on Man-Arctica Comic Cleaning Day? Brizwald: Man-Arctica comic?! Oh-ho-ho, cousin. Are you still hanging on to that dusty, old collectible, that just so happens to be in perfectly preserved mint condition? Eh, how wonderful for you. May it bring you much enjoyment as you cherish it for years to come. Sincerely. Now, who wants my hostess gift? a Cowboy Crabulous Fanboy and Chum Chum: gasp Fanboy: Wow, Cowboy Crabulous! Brizwald: That's right, the rarest of all the Crabuli. them the figure Here you go, boys. Keep the galaxies safe from incephalopods. Fanboy and Chum Chum: Whoa. off laughing Oz: Oh, Brizwald, you might as well be wearing a +5 cloak of invisibility because I see right through you. Brizwald: Is that any way to treat your cousin who stopped by for a friendly visit? Oz: Oh, I SERIOUSLY doubt that's why you're here. Brizwald: Well, it's SINCERELY is. Oz: SERIOUSLY! Brizwald: SINCERELY! growl Fanboy: All right, you two. Let's act peaceful lock. Oz's Mom: OZVALD! DINNER! Brizwald and gasps Brizvald, ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! into Brizwald's arms Brizwald: Cousin Oz's mom! Oz: her away Don't get too comfy, Mother. He was just leaving! to throw Brizwald out but fails Wha -- Who -- Oz's Mom: Nonsense! Brizwald You stay for dinner. Put some meat on those bones! grunts Oz: But Ma -- Oz's Mom: No buts! Brizwald Now, you and your friends vorship and join us upstairs. sits in her stair chair and carries Brizwald Brizwald: See ya at supper, cous! Oz: Grr! the dining room... Oz: mumbling Oz's Mom: Ozzy! Ozzy! him on the head Oz: Ow! Okay. Oz's Mom: Ozvald! Don't scowl at your cousin. Oz: lying Oh, my apologies. Gentlemen? growl at Brizwald Oz's Mom: Brizvald, vhy aren't you eating? Brizwald: Uh, I'm sort of uh, handcuffed to my chair? Oz: He doesn't need his hands. His food has been pre-chewed. place the chewed meat on Brizwald's plate Chum Chum: Bon Appétit. Oz's Mom: Ozvald Harmounian, you uncuff your cousin at VONCE! just stares Fanboy: I wouldn't try any funny stuff. Chum Chum: Yeah, don't make me use this. a buzz kill machine Brizwald: Uh, say Oz, uh, could you pass me the -- Oz: MAN-ARCTICA COMIC?! NEVER!!! Brizwald: I was gonna say "butter infused gravy". Oz: YOU MEAN "BUTTER INFUSED COMIC?! NEVER!!! Brizwald: Okay, I'll just get it myself. to reach for the gravy Oz: He's reaching for the comic! Attack! boys attack Brizwald Oz's Mom: Ozvald Harmounian, enough! YAH! the fight Dinner is over, time for bed! Oz: It's fine by me. Seriously. I'll just stay at my shop and keep an eye on MY MAN-ARCTICA COMIC! YEAH! Oz's Mom: No! Brizvald is guest. He stay in shop. You stay in Mitzi's room! Oz: MA!!! mimics him Oz's Mom: Enough! Show Brizvald to his room. Brizwald: Looks like I'll be spending the night after all. Couuuuussssssss. Later... Brizwald: humming Oz: Alright, guys, listen carefully. I don't care what Brizwald says, he's not to be trusted. Since I've been banished upstairs, I need you two to shadow Brizwald. AND -- report back on these radios. two headsets Fanboy and Chum Chum: Cool! on headsets Oz: I'll be monitoring the operation from upstairs, in the Eagle's Nest. salute Oz: tired Okay, then! I'll just be going upstairs, for I am sooooo sleepy! to yawn Fanboy: to yawn Me too, Oz. Better go straight to bed. stare at Chum Chum Chum Chum: Now, I'' say: "I'm tired". ''pretend to yawn, then F&C leave still pretends to yawn as he goes up the stairs Brizwald: Hmm hmm hmm. goes into Mitzi's control room, slams the door shut and puts on a headset while he sits down at a set of monitors Oz: Purple Rain, this is Eagle's Nest. Do you copy? Over. Fanboy: over to the bathroom disguised as toothpaste I'' copy, Oz. '''Oz:' Good, the comic appears secure. Do you have a visual on the target? Fanboy: Copy that! Target's in sight! over to Brizwald Oz: Good. Orange Julius, what's your 20? Over. Chum Chum: I'm right next to Brizwald! is disguised as a toothbrush Brizwald: humming Toothbrush... and opens cabinet Uh, hello, toothpaste? Where are you? the Fanboy toothpaste Oh, there you are. and squirts Fanboy onto the Chum Chum toothbrush, then starts to brush his teeth Fanboy: Mayday! We're going in! brushes his teeth as F&C grunt. Briefly, he stops Brizwald: Hm. continues brushing his teeth as F&C grunt. He stops again with Fanboy drooping Brizwald: This is some sincerely loud toothpaste. as Fanboy grunts, then spits Fanboy: Ohhh... Oz: Fear not, issue Absolute Zero. I won't let you out of my -- the comic is gone HEY! I don't understand, something's tripped my motion detector, but not the floor's pressure sensor! How can that be?! Boys! What's going on?! Did you lose the subject?! I told you to be his shadow! are disguised as a shadow for Brizwald Fanboy: Yeah, and we are! yawns and scratches his butt. F&C mimic him Oz: Oh, good. Whew! Wait a minute, If you're his shadow, then where's his shadow? Brizwald's shadow in front of the comic AHH! monitors turn off Oh-oh, oh, no! Guys! Guys, come in! Do you read me? Do you read me? I have to get down there! Mitzi! onto Mitzi Ride like the wind! tries to move, but it's hard due to Oz's weight Fanboy: Come in, Oz! Speak to me! Chum Chum Chum Chum, we've lost communication! Chum Chum: Fanboy, the comic! shadow grabs the comic Brizwald: Hmmhmm! Yes, he's got it! My plan worked perfectly! Fanboy: Stop right there, Brizwald's shadow! Brizwald: Shadow, look out! chase Brizwald's shadow to the wall and try to grab the comic, but it's too high up. Brizwald's shadow attatches itself to the wall Fanboy: Hi-ya! the wall Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Chum Chum: I got him, Fanboy! the wall with a chair This isn't working. Fanboy: Time for Plan B. knuckles Chum takes out a flashlight and turns it on. F&C makes several shadow puppets Fanboy: a bird Just place the comic in my talons -- hit not the beak! Chum Chum: a rabbit Unhand that comic. hit Ayee! Fanboy: a dog, barks, gets hit and wimpers I'm crampin' up, Chum. He's just too good! shadow begins to deliver the comic to him Brizwald: Yes, yes, give it! the comic Ha ha! laughter Finally, Man-Arctica issue Absolute Zero is mine! laughter rides down the stairs and he bounces everywhere. He jumps off of Mitzi and starts to plow into Brizwald CRASH! Oz: back the comic Ka-pow! I have the comic! Ha, I totally foiled your sinister plot. How you like me now? Brizwald: Hmmhmmhmmhmmhmmhmm, I hate to break it to you, but I still have one last trick up my sleeve. Or rather, in my boots. jetboots and blasts off Hahahahahaha! You haven't seen the last -- of Brizwald Harmounian! SINCEEERLYYYYY! out of sight Chum Chum: You know, your cousin Brizwald may be pure evil, but he's not all bad. He did give us this Cowboy Crabulous. takes out the Cowboy Crabulous, whose eyes flash red Oz: Yeah, wonder what he was thinking. actually a camera. Brizwald can see them via watch Brizwald: I'll be seeing you, couuuussssssss. evily and blasts out of sight Category:Transcripts